"NEVER DRINK ANYTHING WITH A NAME"

I drank a Martini . . . ONCE . . . it was twenty years ago and I thought I was going to DIE . . . S.L.


Step-mother Miss Ruth came over this week and I got a class on Martinis . . . Miss Ruth makes her Martinis with gin - I wanted to try a vodka Martini and this is what I learned: if you're going to pollute your vodka with that vermouth poison, go with the cheap stuff. Save your Stoli, Absolute and Finlandia for drinking straight up, on the rocks with a slice of lime.

Better if you avoid Martinis like the plague . . . I've had two Martinis in my entire life and that was two too many . . .

I don't know what vermouth is or where it comes from but I believe that in Ancient Greek mythology, vermouth originally came to Man from the Ass of the Evil Fire Breathing Man-Eating Dragon that lived at the End of Space and Time . . .

Kerosene actually tastes better . . . has more medicinal qualities, even . . .

STORMBRINGER SENDS